with a smile...

Again, here I am, in deep thought...

Unanswered questions...

I was again, in a not so happy mood. I just felt like all the plans I had, mostly good, always end up with nothing. They say failures make you stronger, and I believed them. I did not dare ask how... Now I'm torn and tired of trying in my own ways to change for the better.

I love good love stories... I always feel so involved, so taken by movies, love stories which end up in happy ever after. I always dream of having my own happy ever after someday. But everything around me tells me how impossible it would be for one like me.

I am a child who grew up knowing that I belong in the happiest and most perfect family one could ever have. I grew up like that and I wanted to live with that. And I still want to, but it seems like I can't force myself to believe that now.

I love the song "with a smile" by eraserheads... "You can never be too happy in this life.", it says. Why can't I? Why can't we be? Why is it that every time you feel like the happiest person on earth, there comes something that would ruin it all. Why is it that there are some people who hate it when you're happy?

How can someone care so much about you while hurting you more than anyone elso hurts you? Why can't some people understand the importance of respect? Why is it that people seem to take advantage of others when they are in their worst? Why is it that when you are down, everything seem to push you down even deeper?

Plans, inspirations, faith, friends and love are the only things that could lift me up from this state I'm in. I hope that when I stand back up, I'd walk away from this past with a smile...