Don't know where to start...

Can't say I'm back because I know I said that before... I might be able to post something for now but I know I'll be gone again, busy with stuff, trying to live my life and run away from just dreaming... I've always been a day-dreamer, an insecure loser... They say day-dreaming is okay, writers often do that. But I just realized that I have to cease just dreaming. I have to start living while dreaming. So now I haven't read any book at all. I haven't RP'd in a long time. I have blocked myself from any formof literature or something that can pull me back to my dreamy world... All i wanted was to live life to the fullest while I'm still an innocent 4th year high student.

What I realized was that I only keep coming back to reading and writing... Dreaming... It's one of my guilty pleasures. To fill in the days when I was away without any post, here are some of my funny, unique and happy experiences...

Our last retreat in high school -
List of things that made it oh so unique and memorable:
1) The place was gorgeous! It wasn't like any of the retreat houses I've yet seen. I saw lovely benches, vines all over the place. Everything seemed like in its proper place. Ada and I was a bit crazy over many stuff we saw. We kept saying "Grabe ang ganda! Ang sarap iuwi nito!" Then we realized we kept saying the same thing that we might as well just live there. haha.

2) It was cold in there. I love love cold places even if they make me feel sick, even if it was so cold we had to go to the toilet every after session.

3) The people. My classmates were doing fun stuff I would never forget. All we did during free time was pose for the camera. And on our second day, some of them played moro-moro. One of them even accidentally hit his head on a low ceiling, on a part of it that my teacher called fascia board. Sad, but so memorable. Good thing he wasn't all that scared anymore.

4) Ada and her surprising jokes. It was the night of our first day there that it happened. We weren't feeling like joining the others while some had their own business too. We were sitting on one of those lovely benches. Then after a long chat, she asked if I'd like to join her walk around the place. We decided to go to the entrance where large letters that spelled OASIS was placed. It was near to the parking. The area was so freakin' dark. I halfheartedly kept on walking beside her after seeing how dark it was in the place where we were heading to. Then I suddenly asked her in a weak voice,"Ada, sa'n tayo pupunta?". To my misfortune, her response was "Hindi ako si Ada!". Next thing I remember that happened was that I shrieked and she also shouted, maybe surprised by my reaction. I was so afraid of her I walked huge steps back to where the others were. And when they asked me what happened, all I could say was "Grabe nakakatakot si Ada! Ang puti pa naman nung mukha niya. Tapos ang laki ng mata niya kanina." Well, it is true. Her face was really white and her eyes bulged that very moment. Anyway, that's something I would never forget and pleasingly reminisce when we part ways after graduation.

5) Projects. One of the stuff I brought with me is our class' Integrated Project Documentation. The documents and pictures of our integrated project are supposed to be artistically compiled in an album or a scrapbook. I was a member of the documentation group and we had to finish it. So me and my friends were trying to finish it during free time. To our dismay, when we came back to school, our teacher told us that the deadline was extended. Gah!

6) Many other things. The entirety of our retreat will be a memory that I'd gladly look back to in the future.

Last HighSchool Christmas Party

1) At first it felt boring. The room was hot. I felt tired. But it turned out okay anyway. The gift-giving part was fun. I was so touched by my classmates especially those who took the time to make something personal to give us. Aleka even gave all of us a picture with her with a simple note. These are things I'd really treasure.

2) Swimming! It was my first time to join a class party outside the school. We went to a classmate's resort and had fun fun fun. I played cards with some of my classmates. We swam all afternoon until the sun was out. It was very dark when we washed and dryed ourselves. This experience made me realize how time I could've spent with them but didn't because I was too afraid I couldn't relate to them. Well, even how much we wish we could turn back time, we just couldn't. All I could do is spend what's left of my time with them as happy and jolly I could be. I'll try to stop being kj, okay? haha I wish I could spend more time with my classmates. Three years just isn't enough!

What i've been up to...

What I've been up to? There's not much, really... I have been really busy applying for four universities...(*doesn't feel like naming them*) It just felt so good after all the paperwork was done... My mom was very supportive and we finished it all early that I can consider myself one of the earliest in my school to have processed all the requirements needed for the four schools.

NCAE was finished and didn't even feel like it happened at all... This made me realize and conclude that when you've already taken the UPCAT exam, no other exam could ever make you feel more frustrated... We'll see for the remaining tests...

Another thing that got me busy is.... FACEBOOK!!! Gah! I got hooked! Pet Soc... Restaurant City... Farmville... It's all sooo addicting... Well, I wish I could work on limiting my playing hours... I just wish!

I've also been really museless these past few months... There's nothing creative to say as this blog obviously suggests... I've also been working on fixing my emotions and my life and felt that i should really give more time for living the real life outside my unreal imaginative world of books and blogs... So that's what I've been busy with... Soooo busy that I didn't even manage to make a page saying "In HIATUS"... I wish could've made one though, just to create a formal excuse...lol

To all those who cared to read this... THANKS!!! and I"M BACK! yay! haha

holding on to time...

I only have two days left before my last year in high school starts. No more free time. No more do-whatever-you-like days... No more fun time playing card games (speed, pusoy dos, in-between,etc.) with my cousins. No more bonding days with my family... It will soon be gloomy days at school, jotting down notes about the new set of teachers' rules and regulations etc... Okay... It might not be that bad! Let's think positive!

Let's look at the brighter side! It could be a week of new learning, instead... Plus, I'd be able to meet my friends again... (though i only got few) :p

I still can't help but feel scared that I won't be assigned in the class I used to be in. I even dreamed of seeing the list of the class I used to be in. I tried to find my surname. It was not there! It was heart breaking. T T It would really be sad for me if that happens. But it's really comforting how i get told "i miss you" a lot of times in ym by friends i haven't been seeing or talking to lately. One even told me that if ever we don't get assigned to the same class again, God might have better plans for me. Thanks so much!

If only I have a TimE-TuRner like this... (from harrypotter.wikia.com)

I'm a loyal fan of Harry Potter btw!*grins*

completely museless...

It's been too long since I last posted anything at all. The first half of my summer had been really fun! Now that it's just days before school starts back again, my mind feels like shredded into small bits of paper, drowned in water and shaken inside some container. I feel anxious, bored, useless and museless all at the same time.

Today, I decided to finally update my blogger. yay! And, i changed its look too! This would exactly fit my mood now. Changed my music too. I'd really recommend playlist.com to anyone who'd like to put a playlist into his page.


Being totally anxious and museless, I couldn't post anything more from this uneventful week. Guess that's pretty much it for now! Thanks ^^

Barney says "Share!"

My little cousin used to say, "Sabi ni Barney, share!!!" when he wanted to have something from you. He was and still is a fan of Barney...Cute,isn't it? What's even more funny is when he doesn't want to share with you something he's got. We'll say, " 'Di ba sabi ni Barney share?". Then he would reply, "Sabi ni Barney, hindi lahat sini-share!". All of us would burst into laughter. That was the story behind the title of today's post...XD

Notice that cute award on the right of my blog site? It was Nicole of http://colorless--rainbow.blogspot.com/ who shared it to me. Now it's time for me to share it with others too.

First, here are the rules of the AWARD (click to see):
1) The winner can put the logo on his/her awesome blog.
2) Link the person you received your award from.
3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
5) Leave a message on the blogs of those you've nominated.

Time to share...
Here are the 7 lucky bloggers...YAY for all of us!!!Woot!

~ Ada/Lara of http://www.berryknots.blogspot.com/
~ Steffie of http://ebukworms.blogspot.com/
~ Janine of http://confessionsofthetruth.blogspot.com/
~ Jeremae of http://reviews.lavender-bliss.net/
~ Jessa of http://jessaster.net/
~ Thel of http://hearmespeaknow.blogspot.com/
~ Yochanna of http://yochanna.blogspot.com/

There! ♥
Thanks soooo much to Nicole!!!

a warm welcome...

Ada, or Lara, gave me one welcome-back-gift that looks so cute! Oh look it has that cutie chick she used to fancy so much before! haha XD okay, that was random! ;p But hey, thanks! Now I envy your photoshop skills... T T

And to complete my special come-back, my chatmate/sister/online friend/etc. has just made her own blog site! I only suggested creating one to her a few minutes ago then when I came back from dinner, tada! She's got her own blog already! yay! check it out! http://yochanna.blogspot.com/

There. I'm so happy!

cRazyKaRt cRaze!!!

It was Jessa, one of my fave linkies, who told me about this cool game. She said it was her current addiction. You could view that comment on my c-box by the way. So, i wasn't really that much interested by then. Then my cousins told me that they have accounts in that online game and that it was indeed a cool game. I got curious and decided to check it out and see for myself. After sometime, i got sooo addicted to it that i even got past the current levels of some of my cousins. I'm not really a good player but I came to be familiar with some of the beginner's maps of the game.

To those who are bored and who are hunting for a cool game to pass the time, here's something you would surely love. Crazykart requires dowloading, but i assure you that it's worth the effort and memory of your pc. So, if you already have an account or is planning to create one, add me as a friend. Here's my username: "anajoaquin" and my nickname: "milkyknots". I would gladly race with you!:p

By the way, to anyone who cares, I'm back! I got over the creepy fear...haha...XD I badly missed blogging! woot! I missed ya guys! And Lara, don't forget the gift you promised me!!! <3

bye for now!

Okay... So I haven't really done so much to this blog yet I'm already leaving it. I know, it's awful. Someone just warned me about posting too much personal details, photos and stuff...I didn't take it seriously at first, but after that, I realized how important privacy is. At first, I thought, 'I'm not even done with all those stuff I was planning to post for this blog, etc. And I haven't even met so much friends yet.' But after a while, that simple talk became very traumatic for me. I know, I'm a loser.

With that, I'm planning to leave this blog for now. Maybe I'll delete some posts which I think, are very emotional. Since I only have one picture, that would barely be a problem. Ugh! This is very funny! But I think I'd have to stop for a while until this crazy fear subsides. Creepy!

"Can you keep a secret?" ('Course i can!!! especially Jack Harper's)

"Can you keep a secret?" is just another masterpiece from the New York Times Best-selling author, Sophie Kinsella who is best known for her novel, "Confessions of a Shopaholic". The latter book has recently been adapted into a movie which hit the cinemas just a few weeks ago here in the Philippines! I saw it with a friend, Kat. We totally loved it! I even considered buying a new tee that says "Veni.Vidi.Visa - Icame. I saw. I shopped." I just thought that it would be a nice souvenir. It was my first time to go malling without a family with me anyway. It must be unforgettable I thought as an excuse. But alas, after trying it on inside the fitting room, i found out that the color doesn't suit my skintone. To make it even more perfect, the shirt has no other color available for that particular design. So I ended up buying another shirt that says, "I just realized, I don't care." I still like it anyway.

I was supposed to talk about the book, "can you keep a secret", right? ;P So here's how I had the chance to read it.

My cousin went home from their dorm to spend a few days at home and attend her sister's grad. She brought this book with her and showed it to me. All I said at first was, "Oh, I know the author! That must be a good book." Then she started to tell me the plot and after a few minutes, I was in another world. As long as I'm holding that book in front of my chinky eyes, nothing else could ever exist. (No. I'm exaggerating.) Yes, I was in another world with Emma Corrigan and Jack Harper except during the times when my mom would force me to eat breakfast saying I'd have cancer if I'll let 10 am pass without eating anything. Or when she asked me to help out with the house chores, etc.

Just like in any other love story I've read or watched, I found myself so into it once again. Well, I couldn't help myself!!! Jack Harper is such a romantic!!! Emma, like you would usually expect, is an ordinary girl. Despite all the cliches, It's still amazing!!!

I can't help but grip tighter into the book when Jack comes into the scene. I couldn't help but read the words again and again when I see the name "Jack" on the page I'm reading. I started reading this from the afternoon of April 2 and finished it just this morning. Th moment I got the chance to put my chubby fingers on the computer, I found myself typing the words, "Can you keep a secret" and "Jack Harper" on Google. I know I'll get over all this! But not soon, I suppose. ;( Jack Harper would surely be in my dreams for weeks. Ugh!

If you're crazy like me. And you love being so in love with fictional charcaters. Read "Can you keep a secret?" by Sophie Kinsella. It may not be the best. But at the moment, it is for me...lol.

P.S.

Forgive me. I can sometimes be crazy, like this. No, most of the time actually. Can you keep this secret? lol.

"December Boys" (a late review) ;p

Just this morning, I remembered seeing the movie "December Boys" in the list of movies to be played on HBO in the past weeks. That time, I also remembered anticipating for this particular movie when I saw it in the trailers at the cinemas last year. Syempre, nandun si Harry Potter eh! (Daniel Radcliffe). I don't remember why I missed watching that movie when I was so excited about it even months before it was supposed to be playing on the cinemas.

To kill the boredom, I took the chance to watch it online. I already can't wait for HBO to play it. So here it goes:

The story started in the orphanage where the boys were living. It was an orphanage exclusively for boys. The four boys were named "December boys" for they were all born on the month of December as the name suggests. The boys are also individually known as "Misty", "Spit", "Spark" and "Maps"(Daniel, my idol!). Maps is the oldest of the boys and Misty is the youngest. The boys in the orphanage all dream of being adopted or saved one day.

December 1 comes and the four were recogized by the nun in front of the other boys. They were given small presents and were called in an office. There came the bigger surprise. The four were given the privilege to go on a holiday, on a beach!!! Thrilled, they journeyed into a very unfamiliar place. They went to the circus shows and met different friendly people. The old couple who took care of them were also kind.

Maps, who was in his adolescent years, was the most adventurous and the one who was easily tempted among the four. A girl about his age played along with him affectionately. She gave his first, and maybe the last, experiences on relationship. All came well for maps until Lucy had gone. Maps also felt upset and betrayed as he discovered more of the man in their neighbor who happens to be a potential poster parent to one of the boys. Raged, Maps immediately went looking for the three others and told them to pack-up. But Misty was the one who really wanted to be adopted. The three boys all wanted to be adopted. The scene ended up with the boys going on separate directions. But an incident made them go running back on the sea-side. Misty was drowning but Spit and Spark were too young to swim and rescue him. Maps went for the rescue after hearing Spit and Sparks' shouts. Under the water, Misty and Maps saw the image of Mother Mary glowing deep into the waters. Misty and Maps made up after the incident.

The time for them to go came. It was also time to know who will be adopted. Maps is betting on Misty. Spark and Spit still hopes to be adopted. Maps doesn't want to be adopted. The couple in their neighborhood decided to adopt Misty. Anyway, he was the one who was working very hard to show the couple he deserved to be adopted. Maps was very happy for him. The two other accepted it. Maps left Misty a lovely line for a goodbye, "Just remember Misty, no matter wha, you're still a DECEMBER BOY..." (I really loved that line!!! Almost cried but pulled back the tears...)

Then Misty seemed to realize how important his friends were to him. He told the couple, "I don't want you to be mad at me but I can't stay. If I was ever gonna be adopted, you're the best parents I'd ever have. And that's not a lie. (;p) But I've already got a family." as he looked at the three other december boys. In the end they were a real family after all. They bid the old couples goodbye and went on with their lives.

After some years, Misty went back to meet with Spark and Spit at the same beach. He brought with him Maps' ashes. Maps became a priest and went on a mission to help the Africans. Before he had gone, he wrote to Misty. Misty, Spark and Spit all took handfuls of his ashes and threw them to the air above the waters.

I totally love this movie not just because Daniel Radcliffe was there; although he portrayed an amazing role there. I love how the story wonderfully reflected the lives of kids going on their adolescence. It was also amazing how the movie pictured the lives of orphans who long for the love of parents. Nice movie! I highly recommend it to everyone!!!

an addition...

To those who care, I just added a counter to my blogger! Yay! Notice that green thingy above my c-box? That's it! It tells us how many visits my blogger had. So please visit visit and visit me!!! Puhleeeeaaase!!! ^^ Thanks friends! And thanks to blogpatrol.com ;)

dancing fingers...

Last night, I planned to wake up early in the morning and start to do worthwhile things, maybe do a little stretching... But alas, my mom had to wake me up at 9 in the morning. My plan was ruined! What a bad way to start my day. Then after having my breakfast, my mom forced me to clean-up and organize my stuff. It was tiring and my head felt really painful and heavy. Time flew fast, there were hardly any time left for me to pack my things up, take a shower and prepare for my 3 pm piano lessons. I hurriedly forced the remaining old books, folders, art papers, etc. in an old organizer which used to hold my toys. I took a shower a few minutes faster than my average bath (which usually takes about an hour) and did all the other necessary preparations and finally, I was done in no time. I even had the luxury of taking a nap while waiting for 2:30.

When I arrived at the piano room, my teacher wasn't there yet. When she came, I already practiced what I thought we would be playing for the day. When she came, she asked me to play the pieces I was practicing. :) nice... The notes made me feel relaxed, at peace brushing away all the headaches this day had caused me to experience. But then it couldn't be all that easy... My mentor introduced the piece I, hopefully, would be playing at the recital on October/November. I just wish I could make until then. It was really complicated for me!!! My fingers were shaking, as they find which keys to play. Despite the out-of-tune dancing of my fingers, I was so excited about the two piano pieces I'll be learning from now on...Wish me luck friends!!!

vote earth!!!

LET"S VOTE EARTH!
TAKE PART IN THIS GLOBAL ACT!!!

Global Warming is clearly not a problem to ignore. Well, you surely couldn't ignore it with all the news circling about this particular issue. It's time we act, do something about it, join the whole world in fighting it.

This simple way of turning the lights and other electric appliances off for only an hour would not hurt but would surely help and inspire. This act can be done not only on March 29, 2009, but also in any day you want to do it.

Let's take this opportunity to get our families involved in this special event! Hope I encouraged you to vote earth! Thanks!

with a smile...

Again, here I am, in deep thought...

Unanswered questions...

I was again, in a not so happy mood. I just felt like all the plans I had, mostly good, always end up with nothing. They say failures make you stronger, and I believed them. I did not dare ask how... Now I'm torn and tired of trying in my own ways to change for the better.

I love good love stories... I always feel so involved, so taken by movies, love stories which end up in happy ever after. I always dream of having my own happy ever after someday. But everything around me tells me how impossible it would be for one like me.

I am a child who grew up knowing that I belong in the happiest and most perfect family one could ever have. I grew up like that and I wanted to live with that. And I still want to, but it seems like I can't force myself to believe that now.

I love the song "with a smile" by eraserheads... "You can never be too happy in this life.", it says. Why can't I? Why can't we be? Why is it that every time you feel like the happiest person on earth, there comes something that would ruin it all. Why is it that there are some people who hate it when you're happy?

How can someone care so much about you while hurting you more than anyone elso hurts you? Why can't some people understand the importance of respect? Why is it that people seem to take advantage of others when they are in their worst? Why is it that when you are down, everything seem to push you down even deeper?

Plans, inspirations, faith, friends and love are the only things that could lift me up from this state I'm in. I hope that when I stand back up, I'd walk away from this past with a smile...

an extraordinary evening...

Just yesterday morning, we had our last swimming class for the year. And just before we started the session, Jhem, the vp of our class, asked me to come back at school at 1 pm to take the place of an RSR and usher in the GAWAD event for the CPACs. I hesistantly agreed for I never really enjoyed being with lots of people.

When I went back, I came earlier than 1 pm because I had to ride with my brother who was going to his college. It didn't take long until Jhem and Ada came. We were given lunch (Jollibee - 2pcs burgersteak) haha.yum! Then we went to the campus ministry office where we left our stuff and readied ourselves for the event. (Nagbihis na ang mga alila ng gabing iyon.) I totally hated the feeling I felt wearing the filipinian costume. I could barely breathe under the thin cloth wrapped around me. Soon after the adjustment, I felt a bit comfortable under it.

When the time came for us to do our jobs, I was assigned at the registration table. It was fun! We had very little problems. Then, when the awarding ceremony was about to start, I was asked to come up the audi-gym and usher the male awardies who'll be called up the stage. I was nervous at first but I realized that the people probably won't care much about me doing my job in there because this is their night to enjoy. And then I came to enjoy my task, walking the male awardees up the stage, sometimes congratulating them and receiving their hurried but warm smiles and thank yous.

After the awarding proper, we had dinner. My feet felt tired but I still felt hyped. The RSRs and FSAs who were with us in the table were very friendly and funny. Sir Mike was really nice. After that, Ada and I went back to the campus ministry office to check our cellphones if ever our parents were already worried. This is when the real adventure started. The whole building was dark. We courageously (although I had my right hand tightly gripping Ada's left arm) went up stairs turning the lights on one-by-one. I was really scared I never let go of Ada's arm. We checked on our cps and found no new msgs. When we were walking back, Ada turned off the lightsone-by-one as we pass by each of the switches. Then came the last switch, we saw an image of a dark sto. nino at the corner of the lobby. (I always feel scared looking at dark images of saints.) After Ada clicked the last switch off, everything went balck. I couldn't see anything. Lucky, Ada could still see the steps. Down we went, me gripping Ada's hand tighter than before. I was like, "Ada wala na'kong makita! Ada sabihin mo pag patag na ah. Ada...".

Well, we managed to go back down alright. We even went back to the campus but we found the lights on already. Now I realized that it was a fun and extraordinary night I had. It could be nothing for you but it was quite an experience for me who rarely goes out of our protective home. Jhem constantly thanked me for doing her the favor, but I realized that I should've been the one to thank her for that one chance she gave me to meet new friendly people, witness my friends and some acquiantances get awarded for their talents and have extraordinary experiences in the dark.:p yun lang. haha. corny ba? comment ka nlang sa c-box ko....XD

Love is not love until it hurts...

I have always had this question in my head... 'Why does it feel so good when you're self-pitying, spending time alone thinking of how life has been so cruel to you, thinking of how it had you ache so much seeing your crush or your friend happy with someone else?'

We crave movies which leave us soaked in tears. We ask our friends for the latest books of sad love stories. We prefer sentimental songs than happy ones,like we've all experienced heartbreaks. Our eyes are easily caught by "emo" pics and images painted blue and gray.Well fine, if that last statement didn't sound right to you. I hate being labeled "emo" too. But you can never deny that there's something that leaves you light-hearted after

letting your heartaches flow through tears.

While surfing the net, I came across very sentimental quotes about love.

♥ "Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell."

♥ "Love is an excuse to get hurt."

♥ "I always knew looking back the tears would make me laugh, but i nerver knew looking back

on the laughs would make me cry."

♥ "Someday you'll cry for me like i cried for you. someday you'll miss me like i missed

you. someday you'll need me like i needed you. someday you'll love me, when i'm done loving

you!"

♥ "The only guys that are worth your tears are the ones that won't make you cry."

♥ "Nothing is more panfull than realizing that he meant everything to you when you meant

nothing to him."

♥ "You hurt me so much when all i ever did was love you."

♥ "Don't say you love me unless you mean it, cause i might do something stuoid like believe

it!"

♥ "You say you can't stand to see me get hurt, so do you close your eyes when you hurt me?"

♥ "Nothing is more painful than realizing that he meant everything to you when you meant

nothing to him."

♥ "Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside

you yet you can't have them?"

♥ "Wanting him is hard to get. Loving him is hard to regret. Losing him is hard to accept.

♥ But with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet."

Now, i can only laugh at these lines. But I wish there won't come a time when I'd feel the same way as those who wrote these phrases. If that time will ever come, I wish I'd be sane enough to shake the bad ideas off my head. Grabeh! Ayoko nun! Ang emo! :p (ew! haha)

I still am puzzled with this silly random thought of mine. Bored kasi eh, kaya kung anu-ano ang iniisip... But all these ideas left me a nice realization.(or maybe an excuse if that's what you'd call it)

"Maybe God has designed us to cry when pain reaches its limit. Maybe God created us with a special ability to refresh ourselves by letting the bad energies out of our system through tears." Sana nga un lang un... Pero, Is it really not love when it still doesn't hurt?Haiiii... Well, bakit kasi natin pinoproblema ang mga bagay na hindi natin kailangang problemahin? Ayun.^^

My new found buddy!

Yay! I finally found this site! I have been looking for that perfect site where I could let all my ideas (usually, silly random ones) to flow out of my head. Astig pla etoh! It doesn't require much from you. All you have to do is create an account, find the right lay-out, and post, post, post your everyday blogs. I-update mo lang.haha. It's soooo like my own personal diary.

Thanks tlga Ada for inspiring me to have my own blogger and for helping me organize it! Friends, visitors who would be viewing this blogger, comment po kau pag may chatbox naku! Salamat! Happy Vacations!